


Worthy of Annoyance and Snark.

by churchofyourcurves



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Bodyguard AU, F/F, secret service au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:17:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churchofyourcurves/pseuds/churchofyourcurves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Secret Service AU.</p><p>Carmilla has wanted to be a Secret Service agent her whole life, too bad her first protective assignment is a girl she can't stand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worthy of Annoyance and Snark.

**Author's Note:**

> So I got a prompt from a lovely anon on tumblr of "carmilla au where carmilla is a bodyguard hired by laura's dad & even though she is brushed off because she is tiny, she is actually super strong"
> 
> And that kind of grew into this. It's not super long, but was def fun.
> 
> Enjoy!

“How the fuck did you lose Hummingbird?” Carmilla dug the earpiece out of her ear, because she didn’t really want an account of their incompetence, and scowled as she sprinted down the narrow cobblestone alleyway, flinging herself around the corner and coming face to face with the main road. The parade had invaded the space, and the street that was usually full of traffic was now full of people. They all shuffled forward to the pounding music, wearing brightly coloured outfits, waving flags and beaming as they soaked up the beautiful weather.

Carmilla shoved aside a stupidly dressed person as she cut through the crowd, heading for the float that was in the middle. Pushing her way past someone who was wearing a truly ridiculous amount of feathers, she pulled herself up onto the float, ignoring the shouts of protest from those already on it, and scanned the crowd.

She spotted Laura off to the side, clapping along to some guy shaking maracas in front of her.

“Jesus,” she muttered under her breath as she vaulted off the float, in the direction of the girl who had managed to slip her protective detail. She shoved the earpiece back in her ear. “I found Hummingbird. Section E3.”

She reached her first, sliding through the crowd so that she wasn’t spotted until she got a hand around the girl’s wrist, and tugged her close, eliciting a shocked and defensive response.

“I wasn’t going to do anything,” Laura protested, “I just wanted to see the parade properly!”

Carmilla dragged her to the closest building so that they were flush against the red brick, keeping a watchful eye on any of the parade goers who came too close, waiting for the rest of the detail to appear. “You could see the parade _fine_ ,” she replied through gritted teeth.

“Sitting in some security cleared room two storeys up and staring out of a window isn’t how you’re meant to experience a parade.”

“Listen, _Hummingbird_ ,” Carmilla emphasised the codename in an attempt to remind the girl of her place, “frankly, I don’t give a damn about how you experience anything, as long as you let me do my job. You’re lucky you even got clearance to come here at all,” Carmilla finished darkly.

Laura started to sulk, crossing her arms over her chest and sticking her bottom lip out so far that Carmilla was astounded she was 22 years old.

The thick wall of people in front of them rippled and two people in black suits burst out of it, arguing heatedly with each other. They both towered over Carmilla, and yet had been useless in the crowd. Agent Lawrence gestured to a phone in her hand, while Agent Kirsch pointed at her roughly, and then pointed towards Carmilla.

“Agents!” She had to shout to get over the din of the parade, and they both turned to her with matching shamefaced expressions. “Let’s discuss your massive incompetence later. We’re moving out.”

“What?” The girl’s face twisted, as she tried to rip her arm out of Carmilla’s hand. “No!”

“Not up for discussion.” Carmilla tugged her to the waiting car that was the next block over. “You slip your security detail, and your su- _uper_ fun day excursion gets cut short.”

And again with the pouty bottom lip, which lasted all the way through the gridlocked traffic. The parade had closed off several of the main streets, turning all the surrounding ones into a fresh hell. The shimmering summer heat only added to all the drivers’ frustration, so every few minutes were punctuated with a car horn - for no other purpose than expressing anger.

In the front seat, Danny and Kirsch were arguing about whether they should turn on the SUV’s flashing turret lights to escape the traffic.

“We can’t just abuse the lights.”

“We’ve moved like three feet in twenty minutes, Lawrence,” Kirsch complained.

“Even if we did turn on the lights - which I am not suggesting,” she quickly added, “no one would have anywhere to go.”

“Not true.” Kirsch leaned towards the door, peering around the never-ending line of cars. “We could drive down the sidewalk.”

“You want to drive down the sidewalk so we can avoid sitting in traffic,” Danny stated incredulously.

“Fuck yeah I do.”

Carmilla reached for the partition controls, and closed the panel between the front and back seat so that she wouldn’t have to listen to them bicker about something that they all knew wasn’t going to happen. Laura was sitting next to her, although she hadn’t looked at her once since getting in the car, stubbornly staring outside the window as if the unchanging scenery was the most interesting thing in the world.

Outside, people slowly walked past, those either headed to the parade, or away from it. They were wearing similarly outrageous clothing; barely there cuts in garish colours, and often with props.

For a split second, Carmilla considered making conversation, but decided she was far more comfortable in the silence. She’d gotten this assignment half a year ago, after the most rigorous testing and checks, and she’d assumed that they’d be for more than babysitting an annoying 22 year old who was taking time off after college to ‘find herself’.

What wank.

Carmilla had been preparing for the Secret Service for as long as she could remember, devouring any and every piece of information about the agency, and after a stint in the field office, this was her first protective assignment. The Vice President’s daughter, who spent all her time either talking nonstop, or acting like a five year old.

She decided that she preferred the silent five year old to the chatty naiveté.

When they finally reached the house Laura stormed out of the car, slamming the door so hard that the car rocked slightly. The three agents shared a look.

“Shotgun not returning her phone,” Kirsch said quickly.

“Shotgun not,” Danny chimed in a second later.

“You two are children,” Carmilla muttered, but she snatched the phone from Danny’s hand anyway, and followed after the sullen girl lazily, not in any rush to return her phone to her.

The Vice President’s house was a classic building, white and grey with plenty of windows, a peaked roof, and generous wraparound porch. It would have been just as at home in the countryside as it was on the Naval Observatory grounds. While it wasn’t grand like the White House, it was certainly large enough. The Veep’s two-person family felt even smaller in comparison to it than they did when standing next to the President’s husband and four children.

Carmilla rounded the building, knowing that the Veep’s daughter would have gone around to the pool house in the back, which she had turned into her unofficial room. Unofficial to the press, but a part of the briefing package for the Secret Service. It wasn’t their job to question why she insisted on not living in the house with her father, it was just their job to know it.

The white window-panelled double doors were open messily, as if they had been flung open in a rage. Carmilla tightened her grip on the phone and set her jaw. She was fairly sure that the de-escalation tactics she’d been taught weren’t for use on their asset, but whatever.

A sound reached her ears that she recognised instantly and she frowned. She moved closer to the pool house, standing on the other side of the lap pool, and saw the silhouette of Laura _beating the absolute shit out of a training dummy_.

The BOB training dummy was one that Carmilla had used in some of her training; it was a beige model of a man’s torso and head, fixed to a black pole and floor weight that kept it bouncing back after each devastating kick that was levelled at its side, neck, and head.

Carmilla stopped where she was, raising an eyebrow as she watched the Veep’s daughter place an empty water bottle on the head of the dummy, having to stand on her tiptoes to reach it. Then she took a moment to steady herself before levelling a jump kick at the bottle, slamming it off cleanly without even brushing the head of the six-foot tall dummy.

Carmilla swallowed hard.

Laura turned towards her with something animalistic and hard in her expression, and Carmilla thought for a second that she had heard her swallow. Then she realised that the light behind her in the house had turned on, and was now throwing her shadow forward across the pool water in the quickly descending dusk.

Having been spotted, waiting no longer seemed an option, so she walked towards Laura, who was now drinking out of a glass while glowering at Carmilla. She hadn’t changed out of her shorts, although she had taken off the shirt she’d been wearing to free up her range of movement.

Even though Carmilla had seen her in various states of undress before, she suddenly felt uncomfortable at the sight of Laura in a bra.

“You dumped this when you tried to give us the slip.” Carmilla thrust the phone forward as if to say - _see, this is why I’m here, I’m not lurking_ -, even though lurking was in her job description.

“I _did_ give you the slip,” Laura corrected as she took the phone and threw it onto the bed in the corner. Carmilla’s eyes lingered on where it landed, sinking into the quilt.

For some reason, Carmilla remembered the time Laura had gone to a friend’s birthday, and gotten so drunk that Carmilla had to basically carry her to bed. Next to the bed, Laura had leaned in, eyes swimming as she wrapped her fingers around Carmilla’s collar and pulled her in so tight that all she could smell was perfume and vodka. Carmilla had tugged her shirt back out of Laura’s grasp, dumped her on the bed, and taken up her post with a discomfort she had no wish to name crawling over her skin.

She didn’t know why she’d just thought of that.

“Was there anything else?” Laura asked.

Carmilla felt like there was, but nothing came to mind, so she just shook her head and left the pool house. The sound of flesh hitting plastic started again, and Carmilla willed herself to walk faster and not look back.

She only managed the first one.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang with me at my tumblr [churchofyourcurves](http://churchofyourcurves.tumblr.com/). If you send me prompts there's like a 50% chance of me doing them, depending on the day.


End file.
